The Year of the Rat…

Happy Chinese New Year!!!!

Generally we give the Chinese mad props for their bargain basement labor and low-cost/lead-tainted toys……but we have to disagree with their designation that 2008 is the Year of the Rat.

With all that happened last year, it seems pretty damn obvious to us that 2007 WAS the Year of the Rat.

But we’re not fixing to argue with 1 billion ChinaFolk. So….instead of fighting them…we join them….

….with our first ever The Year of the Rat Parade.

Coach Bill is our Grand Marshall. Who else but “Belicheat” could pull off this ancient Chinese tribal number? We can’t wait to see what type of high-tech drama he scares up in 2008!

Following up BillyCheatBall are three very naughty boys who know lots about needles and ass-play (not to mention back zits, shrunken testes and saving DNA for half a decade). That’s right….say hello to Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte and creepy DNA saver/Clemens trainer Brian McNamee!!!

The only female in our Rat Parade is Public Enemy Number One in D-Town. Shugga….you may have some really really really really really really really really really nice bazongers…..but you’re one dime short of a dollar bill for thinking you could get away with taking The Romonator out of town the week before the big game.

Part circus clown, part Rat….Bobby Petrino represented (along with fellow parader Rich Rodriguez) an entire profession that falls deeper and deeper into ratdom every year. If it wasn’t Petrino and Rodriguez skipping town in the middle of the night, it was Bob Stoops’ music download ponzi scheme or Joe Paterno bitching out another reporter.

Oh, OJ. Poor, sweet, insanely dumb OJ. What is to become of you?

So that’s what the prisoners rock on Chinese New Year! Michael Vick….that ain’t you dawg. Good news? You don’t have to send twenty mil back tot he man. Now THAT is a great Year of the Rat present.

Et tu, Richie? Shredding documents, bailing on a 4 million buyout (at the very same time you’re signing a NEW contract with a 4 million buyout), bad mouthing the most illiterate state in the Union? You, Rich Rodriguez are and AssRat.

What’s that PacMan Jones? Your Chinese New Year’s outfit makes you look Jimi Hendrix? You wish. It makes you look like a rat with feathers. Go find a strip club, loser.

Isnt’ it appropriate that the man who popularized the term “Bitch” in the workplace gets dressed up as one for the The Year of the Rat Parade? He must have pictures on Dolan….cause his hanging on this long is bordering on legendary.

Check out flatusyahu main page to see the pictures that got Miss Nevada kicked out of the Miss USA Pageant!  Great website!and…We thank them at callingallsportsblog for the great blog!visit their friends at the following awesome blogs to get your free vial of Roger Clemens Ass DNA!:travis122tv (creator of 2007 Cowboys in 8 seconds and other great works!)
on205th (wine, women, song….mostly REALLY hot women)
epiccarnival (actual writing, with punctuation and everything!)

written by Roc