Time was, only complete no-life loser obsessives like me watched the NFL Draft. We’d settle in with a whole bunch of beer and pizza and nachos and other stereotypically male-with-no-life food and watch as Mel Kiper explained the universe in simple, easy-to-understand terms. We’d admire Kiper’s hair, Chris Berman’s facility with puns and seeming ability to predict the picks almost every time. And, every fifteen minutes or so, wise old Paul Tagliabue would walk out and soothingly read the name of another soon-to-be-incredibly-rich young man.

It was a glorious time.

Things have changed, though, and suddenly the NFL Draft is big-time TV. People actually WANT to watch it — normal people, who should have something better to do! This means that the crowd gathered around your TV might not all have already worked out full seven round mock drafts. They might not recognize some of the schools the players come from, let alone the players themselves. It is possible that some of these guests might not even have watched ONE SINGLE HOUR of pre-draft speculation and prognostication.

These types of guests are a constant risk to lose interest in what’s going on on-screen. They want to talk about insignificant things like recent TV shows, or their “children,” or the “recession and mortgage crisis”. This is not acceptable draft party behavior. Every day of this year is Recession Day, but only one day is the 2008 NFL Draft. And it demands total, unswerving attention.

To that end, we’ve developed this handy 2008 NFL Draft bingo game. Fun for everyone, and guaranteed to force even the most tedious reteller-of-recent-NPR-stories to focus on the awesome majesty of Todd McShay and Mel Kiper slap-fighting over the second-best QB in the draft.

We’ve tailored this one to the ESPN broadcast, partially because it’s the only one that’s available to us in HD, but mainly because it’s by far the easier one to make fun of in buzzword bingo fashion. Here’s a sample card:

And here’s a downloadable PDF of ten further variations, because what good is bingo if everyone has the same card?

Courtesy of The Internet is for Zorn!

written by Roc